with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
