i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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