Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
so much tequila, so little girl.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
