It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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