you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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