Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize