i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize