He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
