best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Success! We fucked roommates!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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