Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
