How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
