I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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