I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
