I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
