I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize