is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
