Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
pop tarts are not kleenex
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
