Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
