I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
