Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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