is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
