We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
