Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
