so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
