K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
This is classic penis vs brain.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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