Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
It's just like the Real World with babies
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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