i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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