I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
