he referred to my room as the tit cave...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
