forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
