U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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