Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You were trust falling into bushes
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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