i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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