No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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