I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It's blow job season.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
