There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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