apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
