someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
