Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
