help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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