well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Never underestimate the power of titties
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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