Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
me + whiskey = a bad person
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
