So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Someone came in the potted fern
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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