he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
