I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
