it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
