I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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