well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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