make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
