Welp...herpes.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
