i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
